Felled by Ferragamo, Disgraced Expelled Congressman George Santos Now Seeks Career in River City as Pool Player

    Georgie Porgie sat on a Congress wall
    Georgia Porgie had a big fall
    All the Trump’s horses and all the Trump’s men
    Couldn’t put Georgie together again
In the end, it was two names – Hermès and Ferragamo – that led to the undoing of George Santos, assuming that’s his real name.
On Friday, Santos was just the sixth congressman expelled from the House of Representatives and, perhaps notably, the first who was not either a convicted felon or a supporter of the Confederacy.
Yes, it was Georgie Porgie’s sartorial splendor, if one could call it that, that led to his demise.   But sartorial splendor, like love, is a many splendored thing.
I can see him now, with his navy overcoat draped over his shoulders, giving him the air of a fashion editor during Fashion Week in Podunk, blue sweater neatly in place, loafers with sneaker soles to outrun enquiring journalists.
But now it’s the long arm of the law he must outrun, for House ethics investigators uncovered that he spent over $6,000 of his congressional campaign funds at Ferragamo and over $4,000 at Hermès. Santos also made a $1,500 purchase filed under  “Botox.”
Santos reminds me of another fine American, Professor Harold Hill.  Of course, Hill wasn’t a professor and it is likely his name was not Harold Hill to begin with.
But when that charismatic con man arrived in River City in 1912, he made friends with Marian the Librarian and convinced the townspeople to fund a marching band for the town’s wayward boys, warning them, in a speech eventually heard by millions, that “A pool table, don’t you understand? Friend, either you’re closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge. Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated by the presence of a pool table in your community,” going on to say “And the next thing you know your son is playing for money in a pinch-back suit, and listenin’ to some big outta town jasper, hearin’ him tell about horse race gamblin’.”
These words made Hill rich and famous.
As for Santos, who claimed vast real estate holdings and high-paying positions, well, he’s broke so I guess he might as well see if he’s any good at pool.
(Photo: Accura Media Group)