I never thought I’d start my life over at 28 years old. I had a stable job in my dream industry, a beautiful house in the suburbs, my favorite herbs growing in the garden that supplied my rotating list of weeknight recipes, and a doting husband.
From the outside looking in, I was ahead of the game when it came to life experiences in comparison to my peers. But a peek inside would reveal cracks in the foundation so deep, it was a structural disaster waiting to happen, and, eventually, it all unsurprisingly came crumbling down.
With the help of a devoted therapist and an army of supportive friends and family, I left my job, left my husband, sold my house, and prepared to face a new phase of life on the cusp of my 30s. My biggest passions were writing and travel, so I merged the two and set out seeking stories on a year-long adventure exploring new places near and far, and finding myself along the way.
The healing that took place through my year on the run transcended my every expectation. Whether you’re navigating a major life change or embracing your solo journey through early adulthood, I hope you find this expanded journal entry with my personal takeaways and travel tips helpful in your own healing.
Here are the six biggest lessons solo trips taught me during my Eat, Pray, Love era.
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Posing across from the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France. Photo credit: Kellie Walton
You can do big things.
Routines are a funny thing. On one hand, having consistency in how you move through your days creates a sense of security and stability. On the other, being married to a routine can allow two detrimental words to take over your vocabulary: I can’t.
For many years, I was plagued by the notion that I couldn’t , be it a solo trip, a job opportunity, a leap of faith, you name it.
How could I travel when I was saving for a home? How could I consider leaving my marriage when social media told me divorce was shameful?
My mindset shift from “I can’t” to “I can” was perpetuated through travel, because when you’re alone in a faraway country facing a completely new-to-you situation, can’t is not an option.
Being forced to figure out ways to communicate when you’re lost, how to change currency when your credit card stops working, or how to stay safe on a solo trip is a trial-by-fire way to force a mindset shift, but the relief, empowerment, and confidence you’ll feel when you conquer your challenge for the first time will stick with you far beyond your travels.
One of the best things you can do to heal is push yourself outside of your comfort zone and discover all of the things you can do.
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Archery at Windy Hill Farm in Loudon, Tennessee. Photo credit: Kellie Walton
Say YES.
I’m not suggesting you go full Yes , Man and throw caution to the wind with this recommendation, but I am here to share how saying yes ushered in my new life after divorce.
As a travel writer, I’m privileged to be invited to experience hotels and destinations near and far, but my first post-divorce invitation came with a punch to the gut. For the first time in my career, I was invited to bring a +1 with me for an all-inclusive stay at a small farm resort in Tennessee. Instead of feeling grateful for the invitation, I was overcome with loneliness. After a few tears and a pep talk, I decided to look at the trip as an opportunity for self-care and self-discovery.
With a positive attitude and a journal in-hand, I arrived at the property for a weekend that would entirely shift my perspective. I found solace in my soloness and discovered just how empowering a weekend alone can be.
I befriended the staff, shared s’mores with strangers, went to sleep and woke up at my own pace, and left with a renewed sense of self and a feeling of personal growth.
It was the perfect first trip post-divorce that would give me the nudge I needed to set out solo.
Skiing at Mt. Rose in Reno, Nevada. Photo credit: Kellie Walton
It’s never too late to reinvent yourself.
For years I believed I was unathletic, and yet I made it down my first ski run without injury. I hand wrote my travel bucket list that always felt like a pipe dream, and yet I crossed off half of it before 30.
I thought I needed a companion to see the world, and yet I discovered how much self-discovery was possible through solo travel experiences.
It’s easy to get bogged down with society’s expectation to follow a traditional path when it comes to education, a career, and relationships. Once I let go of the blueprint for life I thought was my only option, my entire perspective changed.
I spent most of my first year post-divorce traveling through Europe, planting roots in London and spending weekends and free afternoons on planes and trains whisking me away on smaller getaways.
As a small-town southern girl, this was a drastic deviation from the life I knew. While who I am at my core will always remain, I used solo travel as a way to uncover hidden parts of myself and my personality I never knew existed, and those discoveries helped me become a new and improved version of myself.
Westminster Bridge in front of Big Ben in London. Photo credit: Kellie Walton
Get back out there.
The thing that scared me most after my divorce wasn’t solo travel, managing finances, or even navigating the emotions that come along with heartbreak. It was dating again for the first time. I feared I would struggle with connection and that my relationship history would turn away future partners.
Plus, my single friends were quick to share cautionary tales from modern dating. My solo adventures gave me the confidence I needed to get back on the horse, and the takeaway was overwhelmingly positive.
When I was living in London, I leaned into the dating apps (Hinge and Bumble, specifically) to put myself back out there.
I had many first dates in pubs and coffee shops around the city, which not only led me to neighborhoods and hidden gems I wouldn’t have found on my own, but also allowed me to learn about different cultures, upbringings, and lifestyles I wasn’t privy to in America.
My whirlwind dating experience abroad didn’t lead to everlasting love, but it pushed me out of my comfort zone and taught me invaluable lessons about what I want (and don’t want) in my next relationship.
Sunset views at Nearest Green Distillery in Shelbyville, Tennessee. Photo credit: Kellie Walton
Home will always be there for you.
While jetting around the world Eat, Pray, Love -style was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, a part of me wondered if I’d fall in love with life on the road and opt to make the nomadic lifestyle permanent. While sipping wine at a cafe in Paris, shopping in New York, hiking a glacier in Switzerland, and lounging poolside in Mexico surely made convincing arguments, my biggest takeaway from my travels was that no matter how far away you run, you can always come back home.
After arriving back in Nashville, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace merging my new life with my old.
The experiences I had in Europe and beyond have led to confidence and independence I never thought I’d feel, especially post-divorce. I now spend my days dreaming up my next solo getaway while also relishing in routine, the perfect convergence of my new life and old. The post How I Healed from My Divorce Through Solo Travel appeared first on She Buys Travel .
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